Lunch with a Pigeon
JUL 2024
You aren't allowed to learn who you want aspire to become. Sometimes "experience" is more important even if that means to loose site of yourself
I'm writing this while sitting all alone in a deserted lab. Where I'm supposed to be interning and simulating some claims made by a paper. And I'm lost. I've taken this up only because I missed out on other chances for internships, and I'm afraid I won't get another shot at them either. And here I am sitting in this lab, and am not able to figure out a single thing. I don't have a grasp of this depth of knowledge in physics. I don't have a clue of what I'm doing
And now, I'm just in a lab and doing unproductive work. And why, well I'm told its for "experience" to add in that resume. Now I would be eating my own words if this is some internship that I wanted. But it isn't. I want to learn so many things, and I have just discovered something I'm interested in, but at the same time I've missed out on something to fill up in my resume. And out of guilt, I've ended up in a lab...a physics lab.
It's probably the 100th time I've evaluated what I'm missing out when I sit here. I don't get to expand my knowledge in the field that concerns me. Instead I'm tied down to a chair and doing something else. While I could have taken my summer at my own pace and covered everything, I've lost the luxury of social interaction and doing what I want. And it's getting frustrating. I'm not getting a benefit for myself, and I feel like I'm letting others down.